The Date That Shapes Her Future


One thing I have learned is that girls look up to their daddies.

People often say that I must have a great understanding of women. After all, I have a wife, all three of my kids are girls, and all three of my siblings are sisters. But, I am also still a guy – so, what I’m telling you is that I am just like the rest of our unobservant species. I am still learning about how to understand what a woman needs most, and more specifically, how God created females distinctly different from males.

One thing I have learned is that girls look up to their daddies. I’ve seen this in my family growing up, and now in my own home. Even in cases where a dad is absent or otherwise uninvolved in the lives of his daughters, girls are watching their fathers. Dads have enormous influence on how their daughters will view men in their lives – from male bosses, to boyfriends, to future husbands. As fathers we set our daughters’ expectations; and good or bad, they look to their dads as the model of their future husbands. We all say we know this, but how often to do we think about acting on that truth? I know this disconnect to be true in my life. There are many distractions that keep us from using the opportunities right in front of us.

We just came out of the holiday season, and I have such great memories of Christmas with my family growing up. Now as a dad, I have taken on the task of creating special holiday memories with my kids. I want our children to look back at their childhood Christmases and remember them well. I try to play a big role in this by holding on to traditions – some more goofy than others. The idea is to be engaged in as much of the fun as possible. It can be easier to do this at special times like holidays.

Another easy way to consider being proactive in the lives of your daughters is spending quality time with them where they get to be the center of your attention. One such opportunity is the Father Daughter Dance at Perimeter School. When I only had one girl at the school, this event was a bit easier. Now I have three, and I have to split my time. I always try to take them out to a nice dinner – treat it like a real date. I have often thought of it as a way to show them what to expect (or demand) from a boy who will ask them out when that time comes later in life – small things I normally don’t do, like opening the car door for them, pulling out their chair at dinner – you know, the old-fashioned stuff.

Whether you have been to this event many times, or this is your very first one, I can only say that it is definitely worth the effort and time you will invest. We need to be reminded to make this night special. There are few opportunities where the table is set to treat them like the jewels that they are. Remember that we are showing them what they should expect as they grow up and begin looking for the right man with whom to spend their lives. This night is about them more than us. It’s about teaching them what it means to be a woman and what it looks like for a godly man to pursue them as He intended. Let that give you the motivation to empty yourself completely to your daughters for at least one evening!

- Stewart Evans
Perimeter School Father